Joe Kelly Will Always Be the Astros’ Daddy

Joe Kelly

Joe Kelly is celebrating his sons today!

If you have not noticed the Facebook moms posting pictures of their kids, I would like to inform you that it’s National Sons Day. National Sons Day is a stupid holiday, but I will save that for another blog.

The one good part about National Sons Day is we get to recognize the worst sons of all time, the Houston Astros. The cheating Astros never had a father, but they did have a daddy, and his name is Joe Kelly.

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Kelly has been Houston’s daddy since July 28, 2020, when he threw a 96 mph fastball at Alex Bregman. The Astros broke the unwritten rules, and Kelly took care of business in legendary fashion.

Joe Kelly, the Best Daddy of All Time

Kelly played for the Red Sox in 2017, the year the cheating Astros won the World Series against the Dodgers. When he got his chance to face the Astros in Dodger Blue, he took matters into his own hands.

Joe Kelly

The wing has always been known for wildness, but he took things to a different level at Minute Maid Park last July.

The appearance started with Kelly head hunting Bregman with a whistling fastball. After this, he let out an obnoxious yawn after teaching his son a lesson. After Bregman walked, he tried to hit Bregman on the pickoff throw multiple times.

He walked Yuli Gurriel before striking out Carlos Correa. Kelly gave Correa brushback fastballs that nearly lit up one of the hottest shortstops in the 2021 free agency class. Correa was nervous, and then the pitcher proceeded to attack him with breaking balls.

After the inning came to a close, Correa and Kelly exchanged heated words as any father would do with their obnoxious son.

When Kelly fanned Correa, he said, “Nice Swing Bi***! Hey that sh** is easy. Fu**ing easy bi***.” Correa responded, “Throw your fastball bit***!” Kelly ended the debate with, “Oh yeahhhhh, throw my fastball b**** (mocking Correa). Shut the fu** up!”

This final statement solidified Kelly as the greatest daddy of all time.

To the Astros, I would like to wish you a happy National Sons Day. There is nobody like your daddy!


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About Tanner Kern 236 Articles
Tanner Kern is a former Division I football player at Lafayette College and a graduate of the University of Connecticut. He is currently a writer for Knup Sports and the Sports 2.0 Network. He is the host of Between the Lines, the official show of Baseball Spotlight, and the main contributor for the website. Connect with Tanner on IG @tannerkern and Twitter @tannerkern_.